The cacophonies of life gets to you when you start thinking “I’m alone, when I laugh the world laughs with me, when I cry, I cry alone”.
If you have got to a point where you have started thinking this, then the blue bug has bit you and you are in need of big hug treatment from your best friend and dear ones. At the worst stage of the bite, you throw symptoms of reaction like this: You would start the day thinking of all the bad experiences, the sad experiences and the traumatic experiences that happened in the past; and the bad people, the sad people and the wrong people who caused the trauma to you. You start paying homage to all those tears you shed, the nights you lay awake thinking bidding your farewells, the days you roamed about like a zombie who is half alive with responses like “Hmm”, “Ok”, “ Ahaa” “oho”, “Grrr” and the person receiving the responses think “What in heaven’s name has gotten into her?”
You burst out like a dam at the slightest mention of “oh, sweetheart, What’s wrong” and then you relate bit by bit of that sad bad experience and then curse the sad bad person and then question the existence of Mr. God. After venting all your troubles for hours, for weeks, for months and at worst cases years; one fine morning you wake up with a smile on your face and magically turn into a content person. The one who listened to you becomes your best friend. So in all the tears and venting you get to walk away with one of the greatest trophies of all, “A best friend, a confidant and someone you know for sure is there for you”. If you are this person you are damn lucky.
In many parts of the world millions of people don’t walk away with such a trophy, they walk away with another appointment with a psychologist or counselor with a dwindling bank account coz you pay for a shoulder to cry on, showing a void of emotional support, love and care which is the best therapy one can get which can be bought with money but it won’t serve the magic it brings with love & the genuine thing from a friend or family. A paid counselor can only do that much, the person is only there superficially like a surrogate who carries your troubles for a given time period just for the financial rewards & professional courtesy. They provide you with a cushioned gestation period of a mother’s womb for a price but cannot provide for you the essentials of emotional love, support and the material things that shape your psyche like the gifts showered upon by a partner, the treats given by friends and the occasional surprises by loved ones. These are the basic needs of life which you take for granted until you don’t have it anymore or when you never had it and you chance upon it.
We think life is about winning but we forget that winning is just a game we play to pass our time, the real happiness lies in the game itself and not the outcome. The minute we stop taking the game seriously, we start living. The day you realize that it is worth every second to stop and spend time with your friends & family, you truly have come out as a winner all the way.
Because at the end of the day the real winner never stands alone!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Great Adjustment Story : The story of a beautiful thread on a piece of clothing & of the single chocolate that changed the World!!!
I have written this piece so that it throws light and gives insight into the world psyche about Adjustment, narrated through a story of a little girl, sprinkled like seasoning on a pizza is my viewpoint on the adjustment theory with the base crust as the little girl's story itself. You have a yummy article here, I hope you would take a bite of it and would ask for more.
The Great Adjustment Story
Let me warn you before you read that what is here is not an advice, it is not an essay on adjustments, it is not a piece on how to be successful in life, it is not going to make you a relationship expert but it is hoped that it would make a difference to a little girl somewhere.
It is just a story, a simple story of a little girl and boy, the story of a beautiful thread on a piece of clothing and of the single chocolate that changed the World!!!
Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved her dad dearly, who was her mom’s apple of the eye and her dotting grandma’s favorite granddaughter. Yet one day she is let down by everyone she loved. One day her uncle gets her and her brother a Cadbury chocolate. Her brother takes his and she takes hers with great joy but then something happens. The little boy wants her sister’s chocolate too. She doesn’t give her chocolate to him when her grandma scolds her saying “It’s just a chocolate, can’t you see he’s crying, you are the eldest girl in the family, he’s just 3 yrs old and you are 4 now, you should be more giving molu!!!”
The little girl is not able to comprehend the age difference of 1 year, she holds on to her chocolate and becomes sad when again her mother tells her to do the same. She still doesn’t give up and holds on when her darling dad asks her to give it up too, then slowly hesitantly with tears brimming in her eyes she loosens her grip on it; But then before she could willfully offer it to her brother, it is taken from her hands by him who doesn’t understand the whole issue and just wants to have what his sister has out of childish curiosity.
The little girl learns a lesson in adjustment that day, she understands that adjustment is what she ought to do; she needs to adjust to the feeling of being the more responsible one, the martyr, and the caregiver. The little boy learns something too, that he is the taker, the winner, and grows demanding every day of his life because that is what is expected of him by his family, by society and by the very DNA of the world’s learned civilization.
The word Adjustment is fed into the female psyche from the very onset of recognition dawning on her developing mind. It starts with a small favor for her brother, or cousin of 3 yrs old and it grows into sacrifices of avalanche proportions submerging the people who is caught in its onslaught.
Now who can blame that little girl or that little boy, they just did what they were told, if only they were told differently, if only the little girl didn’t have to let go and the little boy learnt to accept a ‘No’, how the world would have changed, how every girl would have been more cherished, more happy and more sure of herself.
Society is very confusing, on one hand it rebels at the inequalities and on the other it acts as an incumbent to the very ideas they oppose later on. One cannot be forced to unlearn a habit of centuries but can learn a new habit by rendering the right advice when the mind is ready to adjust to the idea that is imbibed into it through carefully taught experiences starting from a small chocolate. That’s all we need a small chocolate to change the way the world sees adjustment.
If the story was given a new start, if the girl was not expected to give her chocolate up and the boy was taught to understand that he can’t have it all, then things would have been so different. One fine day the girl would grow into a strong woman and the boy will be a sensitive man. The new protagonists would know that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to and can let some things go if they have to but they don’t have to be a giver or a receiver all the time.
There is no role play, no expected reply or understood notions of adjustments with the new start. There is a mutual respect for each other, a give and take that is seamless and not contrived; a silly squabble is just that and not an underlying issue of taught habits. It would be a society where no one is taken for granted and no one is given control over another person’s mind, choices, dreams or wishes. And all this starts with a single chocolate and the small wish of a little girl to hold on to it. If you can’t let her hold on to it,She would lose that tiny hope of holding on to her desires and her dreams later on. And is it not cruel to let her lose that piece of her over a piece of chocolate? It may not seem that significant, but in the long run how would she stand tall and say “No” to all that life throws at her!
Adjustments are needed but they shouldn’t rule over and spirit away a person’s self worth or the right to say “No”. It should be a well thought out decision and not expected out of a person naturally. Adjustments should be the thread that lends a beautiful design on to the garment of a relationship; it should never become the very thread that holds the garment together.
On a parting note, I sincerely hope that a little girl somewhere is happy now and a little boy somewhere is learning what it means to be denied.
There is another story on adjustment showcased on womensweb given below that you could take a bite off and find yummy. Bon Apetite!
3 Adjustment Stories
The Great Adjustment Story
Let me warn you before you read that what is here is not an advice, it is not an essay on adjustments, it is not a piece on how to be successful in life, it is not going to make you a relationship expert but it is hoped that it would make a difference to a little girl somewhere.
It is just a story, a simple story of a little girl and boy, the story of a beautiful thread on a piece of clothing and of the single chocolate that changed the World!!!
Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved her dad dearly, who was her mom’s apple of the eye and her dotting grandma’s favorite granddaughter. Yet one day she is let down by everyone she loved. One day her uncle gets her and her brother a Cadbury chocolate. Her brother takes his and she takes hers with great joy but then something happens. The little boy wants her sister’s chocolate too. She doesn’t give her chocolate to him when her grandma scolds her saying “It’s just a chocolate, can’t you see he’s crying, you are the eldest girl in the family, he’s just 3 yrs old and you are 4 now, you should be more giving molu!!!”
The little girl is not able to comprehend the age difference of 1 year, she holds on to her chocolate and becomes sad when again her mother tells her to do the same. She still doesn’t give up and holds on when her darling dad asks her to give it up too, then slowly hesitantly with tears brimming in her eyes she loosens her grip on it; But then before she could willfully offer it to her brother, it is taken from her hands by him who doesn’t understand the whole issue and just wants to have what his sister has out of childish curiosity.
The little girl learns a lesson in adjustment that day, she understands that adjustment is what she ought to do; she needs to adjust to the feeling of being the more responsible one, the martyr, and the caregiver. The little boy learns something too, that he is the taker, the winner, and grows demanding every day of his life because that is what is expected of him by his family, by society and by the very DNA of the world’s learned civilization.
The word Adjustment is fed into the female psyche from the very onset of recognition dawning on her developing mind. It starts with a small favor for her brother, or cousin of 3 yrs old and it grows into sacrifices of avalanche proportions submerging the people who is caught in its onslaught.
Now who can blame that little girl or that little boy, they just did what they were told, if only they were told differently, if only the little girl didn’t have to let go and the little boy learnt to accept a ‘No’, how the world would have changed, how every girl would have been more cherished, more happy and more sure of herself.
Society is very confusing, on one hand it rebels at the inequalities and on the other it acts as an incumbent to the very ideas they oppose later on. One cannot be forced to unlearn a habit of centuries but can learn a new habit by rendering the right advice when the mind is ready to adjust to the idea that is imbibed into it through carefully taught experiences starting from a small chocolate. That’s all we need a small chocolate to change the way the world sees adjustment.
If the story was given a new start, if the girl was not expected to give her chocolate up and the boy was taught to understand that he can’t have it all, then things would have been so different. One fine day the girl would grow into a strong woman and the boy will be a sensitive man. The new protagonists would know that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to and can let some things go if they have to but they don’t have to be a giver or a receiver all the time.
There is no role play, no expected reply or understood notions of adjustments with the new start. There is a mutual respect for each other, a give and take that is seamless and not contrived; a silly squabble is just that and not an underlying issue of taught habits. It would be a society where no one is taken for granted and no one is given control over another person’s mind, choices, dreams or wishes. And all this starts with a single chocolate and the small wish of a little girl to hold on to it. If you can’t let her hold on to it,She would lose that tiny hope of holding on to her desires and her dreams later on. And is it not cruel to let her lose that piece of her over a piece of chocolate? It may not seem that significant, but in the long run how would she stand tall and say “No” to all that life throws at her!
Adjustments are needed but they shouldn’t rule over and spirit away a person’s self worth or the right to say “No”. It should be a well thought out decision and not expected out of a person naturally. Adjustments should be the thread that lends a beautiful design on to the garment of a relationship; it should never become the very thread that holds the garment together.
On a parting note, I sincerely hope that a little girl somewhere is happy now and a little boy somewhere is learning what it means to be denied.
There is another story on adjustment showcased on womensweb given below that you could take a bite off and find yummy. Bon Apetite!
3 Adjustment Stories
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Street Wear of Hyderabad beats the Big Brands of the city
The fashionistas have always cooed about that uber cool trendy big names of the fashion industry but not many have ventured into proudly declaring that they love the beautiful ensemble selected by them from different local shops of 100 sq feet in some remote corner of the city. I ‘am going to take you on a journey through the not so cool parts of the city with the finest possible fashion wear and the best part is that the ones who sell it doesn’t even know it.
To start with we can look at the not so far away places. The one nearest to the city and which has a beautiful array of merchandise is Shilpa Ramam. Shilpa Ramam would make any college going girl or budgeted working woman go into a 360 degree joy ride of the place with more excitement than when she goes to the huge malls enthralling the heart of Hyderabad with prices that are sky rocketing high. One needs to know the art of haggling over prices to come out with the best bargain, and trust me any girl who loves to shop would love to get that extra discount from the shop keeper. Shilpa Ramam has a shop for every occasion; there is a shop just for the dupattas in different colors and embellishments from occasional to every day wear. One has to be smart enough to choose Plain Salwar Kameez material for below Rs.500 from the adjacent shops first and match it with the dupattas ranging from Rs.100 – Rs.400. The grand look or the simple look is guaranteed with the selection of the right Dupattas. There are also beautiful short skirts that are chic and have a bohemian touch to it for just Rs.100 which could be teamed up with tank tops one can get from R-wardrobe in punjagutta circle or traditional short kurtas with beautifully crafted handmade embellishments which is also available for under Rs. 200 in Shilpa Ramam. The place also has these jingle jangle array of accessories which can be teamed up with the skirt & Tank top ensemble, or which can alternatively be used on a salwar kameez.
A trip from Shilpa Ramam guarantees no shoppers remorse. Every woman with even an iota of creativity can mix and match the garments with complementing accessories that range from the traditional to contemporary for under Rs. 500. What’s best is that you can tell your friends & family you styled the whole look, and Viola! You are the next fashion Guru among all. Now which gal would pass up the chance for such reverence?
God Bless, love
To start with we can look at the not so far away places. The one nearest to the city and which has a beautiful array of merchandise is Shilpa Ramam. Shilpa Ramam would make any college going girl or budgeted working woman go into a 360 degree joy ride of the place with more excitement than when she goes to the huge malls enthralling the heart of Hyderabad with prices that are sky rocketing high. One needs to know the art of haggling over prices to come out with the best bargain, and trust me any girl who loves to shop would love to get that extra discount from the shop keeper. Shilpa Ramam has a shop for every occasion; there is a shop just for the dupattas in different colors and embellishments from occasional to every day wear. One has to be smart enough to choose Plain Salwar Kameez material for below Rs.500 from the adjacent shops first and match it with the dupattas ranging from Rs.100 – Rs.400. The grand look or the simple look is guaranteed with the selection of the right Dupattas. There are also beautiful short skirts that are chic and have a bohemian touch to it for just Rs.100 which could be teamed up with tank tops one can get from R-wardrobe in punjagutta circle or traditional short kurtas with beautifully crafted handmade embellishments which is also available for under Rs. 200 in Shilpa Ramam. The place also has these jingle jangle array of accessories which can be teamed up with the skirt & Tank top ensemble, or which can alternatively be used on a salwar kameez.
A trip from Shilpa Ramam guarantees no shoppers remorse. Every woman with even an iota of creativity can mix and match the garments with complementing accessories that range from the traditional to contemporary for under Rs. 500. What’s best is that you can tell your friends & family you styled the whole look, and Viola! You are the next fashion Guru among all. Now which gal would pass up the chance for such reverence?
God Bless, love
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Grey Sunsets
Around the kaleidoscope of colors,
Showing the blue skies, the green trees,
The slow fading lights creeping steady,
There upon the sands gleaming with rains,
Showers of tiny million glittering stars,
Many a times have I sat in pensive moods,
Watching those beautiful Grey Sunsets…
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