Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Great Adjustment Story : The story of a beautiful thread on a piece of clothing & of the single chocolate that changed the World!!!

I have written this piece so that it throws light and gives insight into the world psyche about Adjustment, narrated through a story of a little girl, sprinkled like seasoning on a pizza is my viewpoint on the adjustment theory with the base crust as the little girl's story itself. You have a yummy article here, I hope you would take a bite of it and would ask for more.

The Great Adjustment Story

Let me warn you before you read that what is here is not an advice, it is not an essay on adjustments, it is not a piece on how to be successful in life, it is not going to make you a relationship expert but it is hoped that it would make a difference to a little girl somewhere.

It is just a story, a simple story of a little girl and boy, the story of a beautiful thread on a piece of clothing and of the single chocolate that changed the World!!!

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved her dad dearly, who was her mom’s apple of the eye and her dotting grandma’s favorite granddaughter. Yet one day she is let down by everyone she loved. One day her uncle gets her and her brother a Cadbury chocolate. Her brother takes his and she takes hers with great joy but then something happens. The little boy wants her sister’s chocolate too. She doesn’t give her chocolate to him when her grandma scolds her saying “It’s just a chocolate, can’t you see he’s crying, you are the eldest girl in the family, he’s just 3 yrs old and you are 4 now, you should be more giving molu!!!”

The little girl is not able to comprehend the age difference of 1 year, she holds on to her chocolate and becomes sad when again her mother tells her to do the same. She still doesn’t give up and holds on when her darling dad asks her to give it up too, then slowly hesitantly with tears brimming in her eyes she loosens her grip on it; But then before she could willfully offer it to her brother, it is taken from her hands by him who doesn’t understand the whole issue and just wants to have what his sister has out of childish curiosity.

The little girl learns a lesson in adjustment that day, she understands that adjustment is what she ought to do; she needs to adjust to the feeling of being the more responsible one, the martyr, and the caregiver. The little boy learns something too, that he is the taker, the winner, and grows demanding every day of his life because that is what is expected of him by his family, by society and by the very DNA of the world’s learned civilization.

The word Adjustment is fed into the female psyche from the very onset of recognition dawning on her developing mind. It starts with a small favor for her brother, or cousin of 3 yrs old and it grows into sacrifices of avalanche proportions submerging the people who is caught in its onslaught.

Now who can blame that little girl or that little boy, they just did what they were told, if only they were told differently, if only the little girl didn’t have to let go and the little boy learnt to accept a ‘No’, how the world would have changed, how every girl would have been more cherished, more happy and more sure of herself.

Society is very confusing, on one hand it rebels at the inequalities and on the other it acts as an incumbent to the very ideas they oppose later on. One cannot be forced to unlearn a habit of centuries but can learn a new habit by rendering the right advice when the mind is ready to adjust to the idea that is imbibed into it through carefully taught experiences starting from a small chocolate. That’s all we need a small chocolate to change the way the world sees adjustment.

If the story was given a new start, if the girl was not expected to give her chocolate up and the boy was taught to understand that he can’t have it all, then things would have been so different. One fine day the girl would grow into a strong woman and the boy will be a sensitive man. The new protagonists would know that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to and can let some things go if they have to but they don’t have to be a giver or a receiver all the time.

There is no role play, no expected reply or understood notions of adjustments with the new start. There is a mutual respect for each other, a give and take that is seamless and not contrived; a silly squabble is just that and not an underlying issue of taught habits. It would be a society where no one is taken for granted and no one is given control over another person’s mind, choices, dreams or wishes. And all this starts with a single chocolate and the small wish of a little girl to hold on to it. If you can’t let her hold on to it,She would lose that tiny hope of holding on to her desires and her dreams later on. And is it not cruel to let her lose that piece of her over a piece of chocolate? It may not seem that significant, but in the long run how would she stand tall and say “No” to all that life throws at her!

Adjustments are needed but they shouldn’t rule over and spirit away a person’s self worth or the right to say “No”. It should be a well thought out decision and not expected out of a person naturally. Adjustments should be the thread that lends a beautiful design on to the garment of a relationship; it should never become the very thread that holds the garment together.


On a parting note, I sincerely hope that a little girl somewhere is happy now and a little boy somewhere is learning what it means to be denied.

There is another story on adjustment showcased on womensweb given below that you could take a bite off and find yummy. Bon Apetite!

3 Adjustment Stories

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